DM Coaching and Development

Flexibility is Good for Working Mothers .....and Fathers

I saw a talk recently given by a working father who recommended the book on working parents and workplace discrimination, "Fatherhood Reclaimed" by Adrienne Burgess, which I have started to read. The speaker argued that for far too long, flexible working has been seen as a  right for working mothers only and the evidence seems to bear him out - requests for flexible working from men are more often turned down than those requests from women. I agree, and think that the sooner flexibility is seen as a human issue, the more readily it will be adopted rather than be marginalised as a "woman's issue". According to Richard Reeves in The Observer " The real change needed now is in the lives of fathers. Men are more engaged in their children's lives than ever, despite the pressures of being the main breadwinner in most households. But their working patterns have not altered significantly. For women to have more equality at work, we need more equality at home; in this struggle for equality, fathers and feminists are on the same side." I liked the sound of that - fathers and feminists on the same side.

Are you a "Woman of Substance"?

Two of my favourite organisations for professional women - The European Professional Womens Network and womenintechnology, are among the hosts for a great evening event happening next Wednesday, the 27th at the Royal Institute. A host of great speakers will discuss how women can interact with the world of science, engineering and technology to make their every day lives easier, to bring about change in the workplace and to make the world a better place.  “How can we empower the next generation of women to become scientists, engineers and technologists?” I'll be there and if you would like to come too, please register at www.womenintechnology.co.uk/women-of-substance

High Profile Opportunities in the Office - Are they Fair Game or Safely Guarded Secrets?

Interesting, the week after we discussed how to seek profile-raising speaking opportunities on the Beyond the Boys Club Boot Camp, two of the professional women who sought them out reported in their one to one sessions, how they were rebuffed from speaking opportunities where they offered to do them. In both cases, their bosses wanted to keep the chances to present at industry events to themselves - in one instance, even when the boss couldn't attend the event in question! This was the proof that the Boot Campers needed in seeing the high value senior people place on such opportunities ...and how getting them yourself, with a bit of preparation, is one of the surest ways to take your career forward. In both cases, we are looking for ways to work "around" the gatekeeper to get them on side eventually. If this sounds familiar - the next Boot Camp starts on March 12...what would you get out of it? 

The Nom de Plume: Why One Female Writer Used A Male Name for More Money

If you have been looking for a short-cut to better pay and greater respect away from the glass ceiling- you have to read the article by James Chartrand, the copyblogger - a female writer who for years chose to work under the name "James" simply to earn more money. It is shocking how much more money and better-received her work (as a professional female!) was when she simply changed her name. She writes "The answer was plain. Without really thinking much about it, I tried an experiment when I chose my new pseudonym. Taking a man’s name opened up a new world. It helped me earn double and triple the income of my true name, with the same work and service. No hassles. Higher acceptance. And gratifying respect for my talents and round-the-clock work ethic. Business opportunities fell into my lap. People asked for my advice, and they thanked me for it, too." I won't spoil the rest of her great blog piece, but it is one of those stories that you don't know whether to laugh at her ingenuity or cry at the lack of justice in it all.  

The Fallacy of the the 20 Year Career Plan

So I just finished the first 1 to 1 telephone coaching sessions with my "Beyond the Boys Club Boot Campers", which I am loving. The issue of career direction came up for one client and it is amazing how many of us assume everyone else around us has a grand plan for their career for the next 5,10 and even 20 years. Like everyone else has a clear, concise and passionate answer to that infamous interview question "what do you see yourself doing in 5 years?" Just looking at how true that assumption - that everyone else has it all figured out, actually is, can be very reassuring and a liberating point to start thinking "okay, what DO I want from my career?" Boot Camp is going great, and the second round for another 6 proactive women starts again on March 12. Visit the Boot Camp page of www.doylemorris.com if you'd like to join me in March.
 

Skirting the Issue: Where is Gender Equality in 2010?

A regular reader of this blog, Margarita George, recently forwarded me this article abot gender diversity and career women "Skirting the Issue: Why Women Aren't Making it to the Board" which is a great overview of much of the research on professional women in the UK in terms of pay gap, representation on boards, career development, entrepreneurship and self-imposed barriers - and it features a gender researcher and friend of mine, Elisabeth Kelan at Kings College London. It is a good read if you are interested to find out where we are as women as we enter 2010. Thanks for the heads up Margarita! 

Kudos to Start the Week...Isn't it Refreshing to be Told When you are Doing Something Right?

Like most of my professional female coaching clients, self-doubt can certainly rear it's ugly little head with me too. Like women everywhere, I am prone to somehow having dog-like accuracy for hearing any comments I perceive as negative - and yet can be deaf to compliments :) So in practicing what I preach, I wanted to share a little of went right last week.  Friday kicked off my Beyond the Boys' Club Boot Camp. Setting it up has been a real learning curve and while I was nervous beforehand, it went brilliantly with a few people even e-mailing me later that same day to tell me what profile-raising activities they were now doing, like requesting to make a presentation to a new committee and contributing a article about their niche area to an industry magazine. I was so pleased, and very excited about working with this group of aspiring women. And I also had the loveliest e-mail from a Isabella Brusati, a reader of BTBC, who liked it so much she bought it as Xmas gifts for her high-achieving girlfriends! Her sister said the book "opened my eyes!" and that she resolved to use 2010 to put into practice all the great techniques and tips. Thanks Isabella for getting in touch, and all the other clients who make my work so rewarding!

Banter or Bullying? When "Joking" Becomes Sex Discrimination

In my coaching work with professional women, I hear hair-raising tales about women who are subject to "banter" such as being rated on a scale of 1-10 for their looks, being called "stupid blondes" or "bimbo", having e-mails whiz around with pornographic images, seeing colleagues take clients to strip clubs, and even prostitutes - only to be told  when they complain - that they as women need to "lighten up". That's why this article by Rowan Pelling about recent sex discrimination cases in the City, in the Telegraph was so interesting. She writes "While the companies deny the allegations, it's tempting to view such stories as "Carry On Hedge Fund" – or ask why women in the City can't just develop the required rhino-hide and treat it all as a joke. But what would firms make of women who openly leered over men's crotches, told them they should be brickies, or brought Chippendales to corporate events?". While I agree with her point - the real story is in the comments section after the article, which is primarily made up of harsh vitriol about these "bitches in the office" from a variety of readers, not many of whom are sympathetic to the plights of women in the city who "just can't hack it". Its enough to make you feel we are entering 1010 not 2010. 

Where is Your Career Going in 2010? To Take Control, Join Beyond the Boys' Club Boot Camp on Friday 8/1/10.

Did you have the career you wanted in 2009? What would you like to do differently in 2010? If getting ahead in your career is top of that list, book yourself on one of the last two remaining places on the Beyond the Boys' Club Boot Camp. Its' a fast- track career development programme for high potential professional women - no-excuses - just one hour a week commitment to get the best of 1:1 remote executive coaching and tele-masterclasses designed to put you in the driving seat of your career, promotion and job security. The Beyond the Boys' Club Boot Camp is an elite 6 Week Program - one hour a week - that has been designed for time-pressed, career- serious executive women who are ready  to take their career to the next level, FAST. I will show you instantly effective do-able techniques for increasing self-confidence and business savvy, how to further raise your profile inside and outside of your organisation, techniques to decrease self-doubt and insightful proven knowledge of how to gain recognition amongst 'the boys club' that supports you and what you want to achieve within your role. Because this is the first time I have ever offered this type of time- crunched intensive programme, I am initially offering for the first two rounds at the heavily discounted introductory price of just £600 (plus VAT). Boot Camp takes place remotely, on a Friday and commences on January 8th and March 12th 2010. Book now at www.beyondtheboysclub.com